Suffocating

Suffocating

 

This is a quote that I can relate to. I honestly feel like i’m alone in this world. I feel as though people can see my pain but just doesn’t say anything.  

People around me feel like i’m just looking for attention or empathy but i’m not. I drown myself in my depression all the time just to show my daughter I am strong for her but am I really? Ignoring my mental is showing my daughter that i’m strong. It’s the only way I can get through the day because as soon as I feel down or anything. People around me say you need to focus on your child and I get real defensive

Here’s why

Because I wake up every single morning to be here for my child. There are some morning that I don’t want to wake up because i’m just that down and just don’t want to wake up. I think sometimes I ignore the depression because I don’t want to be looked at a certain way. I don’t seek help because what do I say to the doctor:

I can’t tell him/her that i’m depressed because I can’t give my daughter a two parent home, because I never been in a relationship that lasted past a few months because I’m insecure about everything in my life. It’s a lot of things that I can say but I don’t because i’m scared to admit it. 

i’m going to end this post by saying that there’s always a rainbow at the end of a storm. 

Follow:

9 Comments

  1. 10/21/2018 / 6:56 pm

    Omg girl! I felt you on this one on so many levels but I always feel for your pain! Especially that you have a daughter! I cannot imagine going a mental illness and then having to love and take care of someone else! Some days I feel like I am barley doing it for myself! I know it’s hard sis bc I’m going through it too but keep pushing! You have too!!! Take the time you need to reboot when you have too and don’t worry about what people think or say about you! Just stay focused and take it day by day. Sending peace and love your way ❤️

    • Arie Ne'Kole
      Author
      10/21/2018 / 7:03 pm

      I been taking it day by day. Just let them talk because they don’t know what i’m going through or feeling honestly & thank you i’m making it.

  2. 10/21/2018 / 7:55 pm

    I also suffer from depression but I will say this. It will only change when YOU want it to change. Seek to come out of your mental state. Meditate, pray whatever you believe in. Our thoughts control our mind and body. You are a magnet to the universe and what you think is what you attract.

    • Arie Ne'Kole
      Author
      10/21/2018 / 8:04 pm

      i’m currently looking into getting help because it’s getting worst than better. I rather have a good mental health to function properly

  3. Ebony B.
    10/21/2018 / 8:06 pm

    Never let anyone downplay how you’re feeling! You’re allowed to work on yourself and your mental health. I love this and the fact that you had the courage to speak on it! 💜

    • Arie Ne'Kole
      Author
      10/21/2018 / 8:09 pm

      thank you. i’ve came a long way with speaking on my true feelings and mental health.

  4. Tren
    10/21/2018 / 8:12 pm

    Thanks for sharing. I understand what you’re saying. I truly get it, from a personal level and a mental health therapist level. Stay encouraged sister💛

    • Arie Ne'Kole
      Author
      10/21/2018 / 8:18 pm

      I’m honestly and truly working on it & trying to find myself. thank you 💓

  5. Tysheira
    10/21/2018 / 8:28 pm

    Hey girl, I’ve been there before! I don’t have any children but I’ve been depressed and had those symptoms. You are a good mother. You are strong. You will overcome all of this. Also, keep writing those thoughts out!

    P.S. it’ll be cool to be friends 💕

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *